Currently listening to: Let It Be - The Beatles
I was in a bad place when I wrote the previous post, I felt like everything I'd been working towards since the beginning of my BSc was slowly crumbling away at the final hurdle. Matters were not improved when I logged onto Track this morning and saw I had a rejection from Southampton. But as they say the darkest hour is before the dawn...and in that dark hour yet again I saw my future as either continuing as a bored Grumpy Biomed...or taking a year out and reapplying which would mean having to redo my personal statement, resit the UKCAT, go through interviews all over again...the very thought made me feel exhausted. I just wanted it to finish.
Real life pulled me away from these thoughts however, as I went into uni to meet a potential project supervisor. I went through all the motions, but in reality my mind was elsewhere. Got on the bus, went back home, logged on, not expecting anything else except perhaps another rejection and saw the best email subject in the world: "Warwick offer for Joint Degree of Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery"!
Opened the email and read: "We are delighted to inform you that the Course Selector for WMS, Education & Development has considered your application and recommended that you be made an unconditional offer of a place on our Joint Degree of Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery programme"...but in reality all I saw was the words "unconditional offer". In that split second my heart stopped and then the adrenaline rush began as I began to fully comprehend exactly what this means. It means no more sleepless nights from UCAS stress, no more faffing around with Western blots, no more doing what I dislike, and most importantly: no more being a Grumpy Biomed. It means that all that obsessing over the UKCAT, pulling my finger out to get a 2:1, preparing for the interviews etc has paid off. And because it's a GEP it means I get a tuition fee loan and won't have to be totally destitute. It means I get to finally be totally contented and begin training towards something I've wanted to do since childhood. All I can say is roll on September!
I opened the email two hours ago, but I'm still grinning like an idiot. It hasn't quite sunk in that I'm going to be a doctor. I, the grumpy, incompetent, thoroughly pissed off and demotivated biomedical scientist will finally be able to hang up my lab coat and start doing what I want to do. To the best of my ability and with no resentment or dislike whatsoever. Of course, it will be difficult, it means four more years of uni, lots of debt and no doubt stress...but being stressed out or working hard has never been an issue for me...so long as it's for something I want to do. And this most certainly is something I want to do.
I've still to hear from Barts and The London's GEP, but in all honesty, if I got a rejection, I would still be totally ecstatic because tonight, for the first time in a very, very long time, I will be able to sleep with total contentment. And nothing can change that. Getting into medical school was the objective, and I've done that. That's all that matters.
This post wouldn't be complete without a thank you. I've said before that I blog for myself, and not my readers, and that's still true. But the very fact that I post on an open forum like Blogger means that I'd like to get a response and input from others. Over the years lots of people have left kind, encouraging comments and words of wisdom, both med students and fellow applicants. So for that I'm very grateful and would like to say thank you...it's always nice to rant and rave on here and know that in a few hours someone can write something that makes me feel a bit better. So cheers, you guys are amazing, and you won't have to put up with my grumpiness for much longer!
I still can't believe I'm free from biomed purgatory. Getting a 2:1 was an amazing feeling, now I've been able to use it to get my ticket out of here, so I'm totally elated. This feeling will take some getting used to...I can't believe this burden has been lifted all because of a simple email. So, so, so happy right now!
And if anyone's interested, a new blog has been registered for September!
Grumpy Biomed (but only for few more months)