Currently listening to: Sunday Morning Call - Oasis
Apologies in advance for the grumbling...
Regular readers of this blog (i.e. all three of you) will smirk as they recall that three months ago I wrote that "I know in about two months time I'll be cursing my life and course". Well lo and behold, it came to pass, except it took three months instead of two, so much so that I think it would be more accurate to rename this blog The Bored, Demotivated, Thoroughly Grumpy Biomed. But that's a bit too long, isn't it?
I thought that third year is when all the interesting stuff would finally be covered. In actual fact, after nearly five weeks of classes I've realised I really dislike my modules. Genetics is so-so (the references don't always match up to the lectures which makes reading up on it a pain), endocrinology is okay and molecular microbiology is desperately dull. Some of you may feel that I'm just "acting out" and throwing a tantrum, but the fact of the matter is that I truly feel all the interesting aspects of the biomedical sciences degree have been covered. Whilst I've never been fanatical about any part of my degree, there are definitely more interesting aspects to it...cardiac physiology, nutrition & metabolism, pharmacology, immunology, anatomy, etc. Which are all sadly in the past.
I suppose acting like a petulant child and bitching about my degree isn't a particularly good advertisment for the university, so let me just clarify right now that my issue isn't with QMUL. I love it here, the staff are approachable and definitely know their stuff. My problem is the same problem that I've had for over two years now, that I'm doing a degree I have no interest in. And that's totally my own fault.
What happens when you continually subject yourself to something you're not interested in? Well, to put it simply, you become BORED. And I don't mean bored the same way some people get bored on a rainy Sunday afternoon, I mean truly and utterly bored in a way that waking up in the morning and turning up to lectures becomes a chore. Where you can't bear to look at your textbooks. Where you feel immensely envious of anyone who's actually doing something they enjoy in life, and then you remember it was totally your choice, and you could have been that person. And in my case where I realise that it's all been totally pointless, since after two years, I still can't apply for medicine.
So here's some free advice for any of you would-be biomed students. If you've failed to get into medical school, do NOT start a biomedical sciences degree. Take a gap year, get more work experience, do resits, write a better personal statement, and re-apply. Because a biomedical sciences degree is not a medical degree. You will never meet any patients, witness surgery or practice suturing. All those cool things which attracted you to medicine? Yeah, 99% of them won't be covered in a biomed degree. Biomedical sciences is a theoretical science degree with medical aspects, but also a lot of non-medical content which can be unbearably boring, especially when your heart's not in it. It is also a huge waste of time and money if you don't enjoy what you're learning. Life is seriously too short: go and do something you actually enjoy.
Perhaps I've just hit a low point, but I'm finding it pretty hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm feeling totally bored and demotivated, and this is not the right time to feel that. It's final year, I should be completely focused, but right now all I'm feeling is an immense amount of resentment towards all the work I have yet to do. I'd honestly rather watch paint dry.