Currently listening to: Above You, Below Me - Badly Drawn Boy
My mother says I'm a person who always wants what they can't have. Usually I get annoyed when people attempt amateur psychoanalysis on me, but I think there's an element of truth behind that evaluation. Two months since finishing my exams, I've realised that I am going mad with boredom. I spent all year moaning about how I hate my course and now I've realised all I really want to do is move back to London, go back to the Library and go through it all over again.
Not that I expect next year to be much fun, the advice from the third years I know (well ex-third years, I'm the third year now) is that modules like Endocrine Physiology and Cancer Biology are hell on earth. But on the other hand, my adviser tells me that a lot of people she knows who got mediocre grades in first and second year rallied and did very well in third year, indeed enough to give them a 2:1/1st overall. It's this element of challenge that appeals to me, so much so that in my boredom I started lazily flicking through some of next year's lecture slides.
I no longer dare to dream of getting a 1st or anything like that, but I do definitely miss my uni friends, QMUL's campus, my flat in London and all that. I even miss the dubious chicken and chips you can get on Mile End Road and the sound of ambulance sirens wailing in the distance. It all seems so bittersweet now I think of it, especially coupled with the fact that when I do go back in September it will be my final year...
The thing with people who want what they can't have is that when they finally get the thing they covet, it's no longer appealing. So I know in about two months time I'll be cursing my life and course, but right now I really would give anything to be back at uni, with a challenge and purpose in mind...something to aim for.
I'm going to France next week though, so that should break up the monotony a bit. Anyway, this post was a bit of a ramble, and definitely not science related, but I needed to get it off my chest.
Hope you're all having a great Summer.
P.S: Ignore the weird anime slide show in the video...it's the song which I like, not the cartoons!