Knowledge can be a horrible thing. In primary school they told us that Adam and Eve were the first to realise this (had they actually existed that is), and like so many others I too have realised that knowledge is a lot harder to swallow than the ignorant bliss in which I have existed for the past three weeks, completely unaware of what my results would be.
I got a 2:2. Again. Same as first year. For the life of me I am confused as to how this could happen given that, without wanting to brag, my coursework marks this year have been very good. I can hand on heart say that I worked hard this year and did not doss around. This leads me to logically conclude that my problem is not aptitude (i.e. I am not too stupid for this course) but rather that I have a problem with exam technique. Which used to definitely be an issue during A levels but I thought I'd left that behind when I came to university. Apparently not. Whatever the reason I need to figure how to improve my exam technique.
In terms of medicine, I have taken the decision not to apply for 2011 entry. My adviser has refused to predict me a 2:1 so therefore making an application will only lead to unneeded stress and false hope. Third year is worth 60% of the entire BSc, so should I pull myself up to a 2:1, I would consider applying for medicine then. Though I will be honest with you, after today's results I do not feel like studying medicine will be an achievable goal, not now anyway.
For 2011 entry I shall be applying for the MSc in Allergy at Southampton and the course organiser has confirmed they would take me with a 2:2. And I really did enjoy studying allergy and hypersensitivity this year.
In terms of this blog, I am not sure of its future. I briefly considered dropping out of the course altogether, though I have invested too much time (and money) in this course to just drop it, especially when I'm quite close to graduating. I'd rather graduate with a 2:2 than nothing. Most likely it will be back in September filled with moans and groans about life as a biomed, though if anyone is expecting details of experiences with medical school interviews or whatever, don't hold your breath, it's not happening.
I do hope one day to become a medical student, though for the time being that wish has taken a back seat. And for the first time in years I feel free...free of the stress and uncertainty...the feeling of "Will I make it?! Won't I make it?!"...I now know that there is no chance of me gaining a place in 2011 so I feel I can finally concentrate on my degree without being continually worried about my chances of getting a medical offer. It's not that I'm happy about not applying for medicine...but it is a weight off my mind.
I would however like to say a big thank you to everyone who's read and commented since the beginning of the year when the blog was founded, you've all been really supportive and the advice and help given has really been great. Cheers :)
My best wishes and kindest thoughts to you all